Question Details: My ex is the only name on the mortgage but both of our names are on the deed. We have not started ED yet. We were just divorced 7 months ago. I cannot pay for the mortgage anymore because it is way too high and the maintenance is too much.
Because North Carolina is not a "community property" state (which can also be thought of as "community debt"), if you are not a signatory to the mortgage, you are not liable for it: in a non-community property state, regardless of marital status, only the person who actually signed for/took out the mortgage is resonsible for it. Therefore, you could walk away from this debt. If the house is sold--or if one of you forces a sale by filling the appropriate legal action, which is an option--in that instance, in apportioning the proceeds, a court would order that the mortgage be paid first, then the proceeds be divided, and would likely order that the spouse who paid more of the mortgage get a larger share. Therefore, your proposal to sell the house and give your ex more of the proceeds is a reasonable one, but if you and your ex cannot come to an agreement, you can, as stated, simply walk away from the mortgage.
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